Sometimes you just gotta

Be startlingly honest, I mean. And pull no punches.

Every once in a while, it pays to tell the truth. Be so honest that clicking the "Post" button will give you a mini anxiety attack. Be so honest that you render people speechless in the comments section. Be so honest that your mother and your closest friends will tell you to stop because you're embarrassing them and yourself. You'll feel better... I know I did.

I realize how overly out and confessional I was in my last post, and I am contemplating throwing a bail-out to my tail-behind-her-legs-extremely-embarrassed self. But then again, I don't want to apologize for the truth. You just can't run away from them. Truths. If only subtlety spoke louder than my heart.

But I do apologize to you, my love. 
That was me writing drunk, and not editing sober afterward.

What a day!

See that poem below? I know it's long and I know, I know, I could have just taken a verse or two but that poem sort of anchored me today that the words almost resonate with me, and I just had to pay homage and quote the poet in entirety. That's my way of saying, "Thanks for being my ray of sunshine in this otherwise bleak day."

This day was something else. Really. But it made me realize a few things:

1. I should have gone cold turkey on you. Not going into details because I'm starting --- right about now. 
2. I miss dancing. A lot. Zumba was a blast! And I'm happy to note I didn't flail around like a fish out of the water. Everybody was nice and welcoming, urging me to come back next week. I feel pretty darn good and it sure lifted my mood immensely. Now, who wants a lap dance?
3. I miss my family. Today is my maternal grandmother's 81st birthday. Eight-one mighty years! I made her a short poem in Filipino and she was delighted which made me a little teary-eyed just because she was so appreciative. She mentioned NVM would be proud and that made my heart skip a beat. But who can beat you, Lolo Itong? We simple folk can only try. But I do know of one who's got the chops.

I thought this was going to be a super mega nega post but I was happily mistaken. So am I ready for tomorrow? Yup, you betcha!

Internet zen, what?

When I was in my early 20s (yesss... how old are you again, you devil?) I was all over the World Wide Web. I had a Friendster account; then a Facebook page; some students and a few friends cajoled me into starting a Multiply account; and yes, I had a couple of blogs. I think I used to have a Wordpress blog and another at its sister site, Blog (how original, no?). Oh, and let's not forget I used to have a Twitter account as well. Amidst all the hullabaloo, and that one fateful night of several unanswered texts and a couple rejected calls, I got the bright idea to practice Internet zen, which meant limiting my online carbon footprint to just my now defunct blog, The Renaissance Chick.

That was, give or take, three years ago when being online meant a huge pain in the backside. The hassle of having multiple online repositories was getting on my nerves and I soon came to start forgetting usernames and passwords. Plus, allow me to be a little vain here, I wanted to get rid of incriminating, unflattering and fugly photos of me. And so, I deleted my Facebook and Friendster accounts, and my Wordpress blog, which I couldn't open anymore having forgotten my username and password. I was now left with a Twitter account that already was on the road to extinction, and my blog, The Renaissance Chick. I stopped tweeting soon enough, deleted my account and concentrated on just my blog. But I had to delete that for reasons that I most eloquently state here.

The Multiply account was relegated to the back burner but has recently made a silent comeback. After three years, I remembered my username and password! What a miracle, eh?

Fast forward to the present. I've signed up on Twitter (again!) at the start of the year and have begun to tweet like a mad woman. I am loving this blog (Oh, yes, yes, yes... I am loving Twitter, too. Hell, yeah!) and because I needed a space to post my photos and my random and sometimes of little import notes on life, love and everything in between which would otherwise be too short and a total waste of space to post on this blog --- I've signed up on Tumblr.

Stomach, meet somersaults.

Whoopdedoo! I've posted some photos of my recent trip to lalaland because my mother has been bugging me to show her the photos for weeks. I will be posting some quotes that strike me funny or simply have struck a chord in me or tugged at my heartstrings. And of course, my notes and observations on my wonderful life, conundrum, what have you. I've posted the link somewhere in this blog for you curious cats.

So there. What happened to all my Internet zen bullshit? Wait, is that a rhetorical question?

Musings from The Gloriously Lost Girl

What happens to declarations when you release them to the Universe?

Do they flit about, circling the skies, wandering, hovering over our heads, us unsuspecting, hoping, braving humans until the Cosmos decides, It's time?

When we do release them, what next? Do we wait patiently? Or do we proactively make them happen? As in, working on them and not just hoping and offering prayers, willing the Universe to heed our call, our desires, what we suppose we deserve.

Define dilemma, but maybe this is just me.