Let her sleep

Water slips through the slits of her fingers as she keeps

her gaze to the vastness of sky; she wonders how 

she dreams and in what color --- cerulean, sienna,

or that plain block of brown --- do they come in, her dreams.

Or maybe she slumbers in silence, void of images, a blank slate

which clamors to be filled, splattered with paint: a splash of red

for passion, a smear of carnation, signaling a silent, burning love

she longs to send her. So she whispers to the night, willing the wind

to carry her words to where she sleeps, dreaming in snippets --- a fingertip tracing

the outline of a scar from when she once tried and failed, a hesitant echo,

silence golden and yet wishing to be taken back with the words 

I love you, darling. And somehow, that is all that matters; her resting,

caught in slumber for when she awakens so it begins. Again.

Yen

I need to come up
with new words to describe you
my darling, my little delicacy ---
this is what I call hunger, desire. The strange need
to rip you apart with my bare hands.

I imagine how you would tear: shining, shimmering
invisible threads holding my human[e}ity together.
Resplendent like the sun -- you are enticing -- existing
to feed a hungry, pernicious creature like me.

How I long for you, my sweet.
Your eyes are pearls and how you smell like a December dawn.
Cold and crisp , alchemizing to warm and comforting
under my nimble fingers.

And yet, you remain remotely beautiful
within some surreptitious corner ---
Oh, sweetheart! How you forsake me:
keeping yourself hidden, tucked in some distant creation.

Strangely feeding my hunger, the yearning
making my blood boil. No words to describe
desire or how you make me feel at three in the morning:
when in need, I taste you and have you move against me.


---
In pursuit of abundance in writing.

Kulay

At sa pagtatapos ng Buwan ng Wika, ito ang isang tulang inaalay ko sa kanya -- ang natatangi -- na nagbigay kulay at nagpasaya sa buhay kong dati ay magkahalong maputlang abo at puti. 

Mahal,

Habang binibigkas ng mapupula mong labi
ang mga katagang --- Mahal Kita
pansinin ang paglaho ng ulang sing-itim
ng imbornal na barado,
ang paglisan ng kung anumang takot
na nananahan sa pobre kong puso.

Salamat, Mahal,
sapagkat sa iyong pagdating,
iisa na lamang ang kulay ng langit,
ng lahat na nababalutan ng iyong pag-ibig. 

Pagnanais

Kay daling lumaya
sa kinakatakutan kung
ito'y nanaisin.

On the 66th

Anniversaries. More fun in SGV? Hoom. You be the judge.

The verdict:
Anniversaries. More fun in MarkeTeam.
Cheesy name, I know. Different strokes for different folks. Live and let live. Walang basagan ng trip.
Defensive, aren't we?

Interesting occurences:

• Someone wore the exact same outfit as mine. Alas, I wasn't able to have my photo taken with her a la Us Magazine's 'Who wore it best?' I am a shod I know. And no, I am not claiming I wore it best. This little devil inside me is nodding her coconut like crazy though, arrogant bitch that she is.
• My immediate boss has gotten himself into a major funk months prior, thinking he wasn't getting promoted. Surprise, surprise! He did get promoted. Funny how we found out a mere couple of hours before the event. Someone did a little jiggy.
• I might've drowned myself in coke and rum, and maybe a couple glasses of vodka. Truth be told, a girl's gotta party! Ergo: The system has been in dire need of alcohol as I have been a pretty good (read: sober) girl for months now. Har dee har har. 

Conclusion:
We are camwhores. No two ways about it.

Kambyo

Diretso't sigurado ang mga hakbang mo.

Walang takot, kahit aminadong masikip

pa rin ang pasilyo ng puso ko.

Lakad lang, Mahal, 

pasikut-sikot man ang mga daanang ito

at walang nakakaalam sa maaaring

maging hantungan nito.

Pero nandito ka na rin

at narito din ako.

Pakiusap, huwag ka munang lumayo,
huwag munang kumambiyo.

---

Naks.

Bagong Kabanata

Bago pa muling dumilim,
aking lilisanin ang lubak-lubak
na daan at lusak ng iyong alaala

patungo sa kung saan
Siya naghihintay,
siya na may dala-dalang liwanag.

May kung anong saya
ang sumalubong
sa aming banggaan

kung saan magsisimula
ang panibagong kabanata.
Sabay lalanghapin

ang mga bahaging bagong buklat
upang matuklasan ang muling salaysay
sa kasaysayan ng bawat

tibok ng pusong
tahimik na nakadiin
sa kasalukuyang pahina.

Bagamat walang masabi
hindi mapigil ang panalanging
Mahal, sana ikaw na nga.

---
And you thought I had nothing for you.
To she who makes me smile a lot, a lot.

Task Planner Thoughts

Rewriting to remind me that it gets better.

"April 2, 2012, 6:44 p.m.

Stuck at work and hating every minute of it. I've been enveloped with disappointment all day. I am mostly disappointed at myself, how I let things get the better of me, how I am suffering the effects of how I react to some things, how I let them affect me so much. But truth be told, I am getting by the best I can --- one foot in front of the other. There is no other way. [Insert expletive here], I am too old for this."

In other news:

I owe this blog a poem. Or two. Is it happiness if it takes you away from the things you love to do, i.e., writing? The curious result of this exquisite feeling is that I am bursting with words and images, ingredients for a poem or a painting, but no way to rein them in, no means of capture in the hopes of immortalizing them. Happiness, I guess, is the poem, the story I do not write.

But write I will. There is no way to silence the words. Some stories need to be told. It's just the way it is.

Stay tuned.