Forgiven not forgotten

We have always
sought the December wind.

Perhaps because it reminds us
of warmth despite the cold

the radiance of
hearts so light

the temporary rising
of pristine flags

surrendering to the moment,
joyous and unrestrained

hostilties forgotten,
all's forgiven for the time being.

Let her sleep

Water slips through the slits of her fingers as she keeps

her gaze to the vastness of sky; she wonders how 

she dreams and in what color --- cerulean, sienna,

or that plain block of brown --- do they come in, her dreams.

Or maybe she slumbers in silence, void of images, a blank slate

which clamors to be filled, splattered with paint: a splash of red

for passion, a smear of carnation, signaling a silent, burning love

she longs to send her. So she whispers to the night, willing the wind

to carry her words to where she sleeps, dreaming in snippets --- a fingertip tracing

the outline of a scar from when she once tried and failed, a hesitant echo,

silence golden and yet wishing to be taken back with the words 

I love you, darling. And somehow, that is all that matters; her resting,

caught in slumber for when she awakens so it begins. Again.

Kulay

At sa pagtatapos ng Buwan ng Wika, ito ang isang tulang inaalay ko sa kanya -- ang natatangi -- na nagbigay kulay at nagpasaya sa buhay kong dati ay magkahalong maputlang abo at puti. 

Mahal,

Habang binibigkas ng mapupula mong labi
ang mga katagang --- Mahal Kita
pansinin ang paglaho ng ulang sing-itim
ng imbornal na barado,
ang paglisan ng kung anumang takot
na nananahan sa pobre kong puso.

Salamat, Mahal,
sapagkat sa iyong pagdating,
iisa na lamang ang kulay ng langit,
ng lahat na nababalutan ng iyong pag-ibig. 

Pagnanais

Kay daling lumaya
sa kinakatakutan kung
ito'y nanaisin.

Kambyo

Diretso't sigurado ang mga hakbang mo.

Walang takot, kahit aminadong masikip

pa rin ang pasilyo ng puso ko.

Lakad lang, Mahal, 

pasikut-sikot man ang mga daanang ito

at walang nakakaalam sa maaaring

maging hantungan nito.

Pero nandito ka na rin

at narito din ako.

Pakiusap, huwag ka munang lumayo,
huwag munang kumambiyo.

---

Naks.

De novo

Say we surrendered to the act of forgetting. Allowed the slow 

passing of our senses, lost in the movement 

of fading into absence -- wave adieu 

as they exit the broken doors of our hearts 

to slip through the slits of our fingers. 

Say the first to leave is sight, a wave of nihility in its wake 

save for a fog of apology as it clothes our world with darkness,

to have touch and taste follow suit. Straining for sound 

we get nothing for hearing has thereafter left 

with nary hiss nor hoom.

Say the last to leave is our voice, forfeiting

our right to ask of the world 

that has nothing left to offer.

Nothing left to tell of our story 

that we are not given time to remember.

Say would you be willing to want this? 

To go as far as forgetting, no longer

be bound by memories deceitful?

Would you? Forget and be

something else, someone else

with me. Shall we?

Make it new.

Dahil minsan kitang minahal

hindi ko magagawang talikuran ang mga alaala

subalit sisimulan ko ang maingat na paghahakbang

palayo sa iyo

kakalimutan ka ng unti-unti

at sa pagkawala ko ng tuluyan

hindi mo na ako maaring balikan

marahil mananatili bilang huling habilin ang tulang ito;

kumakatawan sa mga araw 

na sa panaginip na lamang muling masisilayan.

---

Hello and goodbye.

True or False

Directions:

Write T if the statement is True and F if the statement is False.
Fine, we'll throw in Maybe in the picture. So that's an M.
Answer as truthfully as you can. No second-guessing; no erasures.

Same shit, different package sorrows are. Agree or disagree?

________ 1. Some days you really believe the world is unkind when What You Can Do is different from What Will and Can Happen. And so you knock on all pieces of wood you can.

________ 2. Things they say suddenly speak to you, i.e., *Comma, n.: Is this the effect we have on each other, the power to force a pause, but not to end the sentence? Or **Songs are as sad as the listener.

________ 3. You're not supposed to say anything. So you write something like this. Or hold her name and a vestige of her face between your palms, holding it for the longest time until the most opportune moment.

________ 4. Believing you can tell the world to behave, owning the vast expanse of the Universe, and deserving every ounce of happiness --- only to be tied down by invisible strings reminding you that above all else, you're human.

________ 5. You hate getting all hot and bothered. For nothing.

________ 6. It's called a triage. You believe in annihilating things, people and feelings for what you perceive to be the greater good. Some nights, you worry --- what do you know, really?

________ 7. You give in to the memories and smile, you silly twit. But you know there really is no escaping the memories. And they give you the sweetest smiles. So what the hell. Revel.

________ 8. You want to get drunk. Again. Oh, and not necessarily to feel a little love.

________ 9. When sleeping gives you the break you need but never the answers you seek.

________ 10. You kind of want to hold her hand or poke her. Just to feel she's close. Just to make sure she's near. Just to be sure of her.


---
How did you do?


---
*David Levithan, The Lover's Dictionary on Twitter
**Jonathan Safran Foer, Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close

Bagong Buwan

Sa sandaling iyon

Umiral ang isang tagpo

Nang kinuha mo sa aking kamay

Ang isang tala at ibinalik ito sa kalangitan.

Ang sabi mo:

Mahal, ako lamang

Sa gabing ito, ako lamang.

Sabay tayong maglalakbay

Patungo sa isang banyagang dalampasigan

At doon, mag-aabang ng panibagong buwan.

Kung paano sa mga sandaling iyon

Umiral ang pag-asa, hawak kamay.

Hindi natin namalayan ang paghilum

Ng mga kung anu-anong sugat

Na dala-dala ng nakaraan,

Habang tinatalunan natin ang mga alon

Ng walang pag-aalinlangan.

Ang ating mga tawa umaalingawngaw

Habang tangay natin ang isa’t isa ---

Hudyat ng umuusbong at namumukadkad na simula.

---

If you listen, ever so closely, you will hear my sigh. The sound of feathers, my choosing to nurse this ache happy.