Fuck. It. All.

Everybody wants to be a writer, or claims to be one.
Hell, you can get your syntax straight or regurgitate grammatically sound prose but very few people can bleed magic on the page.

Mag-iisang taon...

Ilang segundo, minuto
ang kinailangan mo
upang ibaon ng tuluyan
ang sakit na dulot ng kahapon?

Isang hakbang palayo ---
dagdag sa lumalaking agwat
sa inyong pagitan
para sa ikabubuti ng lahat, ka'mo.

Ngunit nagniningning,
naglalakbay sa iyong mukha
ang mga patak ng pangungulila
na patuloy mong iniluluha.

Ako ang saksi.
Kasama ang nangangalawang
na poste ng kuryente
at ang basang mukha ng kalsada

Sige, sabi ko.
Hindi ko man alam ang dahilan
alay ko ang palad ng pagkakaibigan.
Inom ka pa, eto, ako na bahala sa deposito.

Reading rampage

Been on a reading rampage the past several weeks. Just finished ---

I am the Messenger (Zusak)
The Unbearable Lightness of Being (Kundera)
Divergent (Roth)
Insurgent (Roth)
The Perks of being a Wallflower (Chbosky)
The Power of Six

Currently reading Screwtape Proposes a Toast and other pieces by C.S. Lewis. Many a silent chuckle I have let loose during shuttle rides to and fro work. My old, ratty copy seems shiny and new, and the bookworm in me is enormously glad I packed it along with several favorites coming here from Iloilo some seven years ago.

Birthday's coming up and while I'm looking forward to V's advanced birthday gift (Baguio, baby!), I wouldn't mind receiving some if not most of what's listed here. Oh, shameless, I know!

The Constant Heart (Nova)
The Man Without a Country (Vonnegut)
Breathing the Water (Levertov)
No One Belongs Here More Than You (July)
Daughters of the North/The Carhullan Army (Hall)
Gone Girl (Flynn)
The Edible Woman (Atwood)

I've a thing for the smell of books. Almost a turn-on, yeah. Also, love highlighting some of my favorite passages. Thus, a real, live book is a must. Hear! Hear!

Ending note/life lately:

Will jump into the unknown in a month's time. Wondering what awaits me. Hell, not sure of anything except this one thing --- it's been real but I'd like my life back, thank you.

Fingers crossed and knocking on all pieces of wood I can, this is going to be the best birthday gift I'm going to give myself.

Forgiven not forgotten

We have always
sought the December wind.

Perhaps because it reminds us
of warmth despite the cold

the radiance of
hearts so light

the temporary rising
of pristine flags

surrendering to the moment,
joyous and unrestrained

hostilties forgotten,
all's forgiven for the time being.

Comings and goings

Going, going, gone. Yep, that'll be me. And I can't wait.

Long time coming. Enough false loyalty. Enough with the hope that staying will amount to something. Just enough. Stop. Give way to something new. Allow the passing to usher the emergence. Of what --- is to be decided. And deciding to look at the indecision in a positive light. Being anything within the confines of my adulthood. And deciding what a happy confinement it shall be.

For now, we suck it up.

Happy New Year, folks.
Decide what you will become.
Plunge head on and make no regrets.
More importantly, dare to live free.


---
And if my face is any indication of how stressed I am where the big change is concerned, it's high time to pack me bags, lassie.