Love's imaginings

It's blistering hot and yet pieces of love and letters are floating in my head, seemingly oblivious to the humidity of a warm summer night. They fill my thoughts and in my mind's eye, I see them clear as day, ready to be plucked from the air and immortalized, cached and compartmentalized. Sometimes, thoughts of love and romance move you and you can't help but be swayed. Sway along with me.

~~~

"Hey, I think you forgot my goodbye kiss."

I was almost at the top step of the apartment complex where we live when you called out. I turned around and saw you looking impishly at me. Your eyes told me I had done something quite inconsiderate in your book. I hopped down the stairs and threw my arms around you. As  I leaned in for a kiss I whispered, "Did you forget? Right there by the archway when I helped you put on your coat," then I kissed you lightly, lingering on your lower lip, nibbling it just a little.

You smiled. "Gotcha! Why are you such an easy target, my love?" 

I groaned, "You do this all the time! There will come a day when I will no longer believe everything you say, love. Just wait and see."

"You believe everything I say, hun," you smirked and gave me that half-smile I most adore. The one you know I can never say 'no' to. Just last night, that smile had me whimpering underneath rumpled sexy satin sheets. 

"No. Nuh uh. Not this time. There will be no more gullible me." I swore vehemently. I reached over and fixed your collar, looked at you straight in the eye and said, "Starting today, I will no longer believe everything you say."

"Oh, yeah?" Your eyes were endless pools of mischief just for the briefest of moments. In less than a fraction of an electric second, they magically turned serious as they bore down on mine. I took a deep breath, steeled myself for what was to come. 


"I love you to the moon and back. I love you today and everyday for the rest of our lives."

I sniffed, "So you say. Go on, you'll be late."

"Alright, call me later?"

I smiled, "Maybe."

As soon as you disappeared around the bend, I rushed to the apartment and grabbed my phone. You picked up at the second ring. "I love you, too, you big doofus."

Because yes, you know me so well. Yes, because I do love you to the moon and back a billion times. In fact, I love you in every way anyone has ever loved.

~~~

Yet sometimes, love chooses to leave, despite and in spite of how hard we fight for it or how long we wait. 

~~~

“I’m leaving,” I say. She looks at me with blank eyes I’ve come to loathe. She thinks I’m pulling her leg. A smile begins to form in the corners of her mouth and she dissolves in laughter. I wait for the tremors to subside. 


“Are you done?” I ask quietly. She looks up and frowns. I know she sees the seriousness in my eyes. Her frown deepens. She sees something else.

“Yes, I’m tired.” I reply to a query she has yet to voice out. She drops her face into her hands and lets out a groan. “What have I done?” She mumbles. I refuse to answer not because I want to be intentionally cruel but because the words won’t come. For the life of me, I am at a loss for words. 


“Please, don’t come looking.” I tell her, my hands lightly touching her arm. “I don’t want to be found.”

“At the very least, tell me why.” She grabs my hand and imprisons them in her own. The warmth is distracting, conjuring images in my mind. I shake my head in an effort to forget and I hastily pull back my hand. “Moot point,” I reason out. “You wouldn’t understand.”


“Try me,” she answers sardonically.

“I want to.” I turn away as traitorous eyes threatened to dim with unshed tears. I focus on a bunch of roses blooming in the English garden we both painstakingly tried to maintain. 

“We vowed to make this work,” she says. “I chose you, remember?”

“I know,” I murmur. “I’ve never thanked you enough for choosing me.”

“If that’s what’s bothering you, forget it. I don’t regret choosing you.” I can feel her pacing around in the room. I feel the desperation in her every step. She lays a questioning hand on my shoulder, wordlessly asking permission to take me into her arms and crush this folly away.

Love's folly indeed.